Today was a very frustrating day at work.  I am trying to get a new e-commerce web site up and running for my client and we are getting error messages when testing the integration between the new site and the existing inventory management system.  There is really nothing I can do - we are at the mercy of a hired software developer who wrote the integration code and the company that designed the template we use for our store. 

So, we are at a standstill and can only wait for an answer from the software gurus.  We could do nothing today to move forward on our implementation.  We were not happy campers.  Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of other work to do - but we had set a goal to turn over to this new site last Friday.  When we were faced with some glitches last week, we put it off another week.  Now this.  So I must admit, I spent a larger than usual chunk of my time griping and grumbling today.  A couple of us have been knee deep in this project for months and we just want to get on with it. 

Here is the problem with the grumbling and groaning - I got into a funk.  When I re-focused my energy on a different project, I ran into a couple of issues and started griping again.  I don't think anything could have worked right today - I was in a bad mood.  Now, this is not how I usually operate, so I'm going to write this off as a bad day.  Tomorrow will surely be better.  

There are people out there who seem to be in the gripe mode much of the time.  Everything is always exasperating and a problem is around every corner.  These people are difficult to work with or even just be around.  Most companies have someone in the office who fits this profile.  Just listen.  Do you hear lots of sighs?  Phones slamming more than once each day?  Occasional screams of frustration?  If this rings a bell for you - take stock in your attitude.  Are you the office gripe?  Make an effort to get out of your funk - no one wants to be around this person.  When business slows, and a company needs to make tough decisions about employees - it's easy to choose to cut back on bad attitudes - capable or not.

Have you ever worked for someone who had an anger management problem?  You see these people in movies and you hear stories, but are there really a lot of these people out there?  I'm here to say 'yes', there certainly are people out there who manage with intimidation and fear.  I have worked for several managers who were very tough on employees.  They yelled, called people names, berated and belittled people in meetings with their co-workers.  They often don't even seem to notice what they are doing.

In my case, each of the 'bully managers' were men and they were all company presidents.  In 2 cases they had started their own companies and eventually sold them and profited significantly from their efforts (and the efforts of their employees).  See, this is part of the problem with these managers - they are successful and this reinforces their berating style.  I see them as being successful in spite of their style - but what do I know?

I can tell you this - don't let this happen to you.  Do not let yourself be a target for these guys/gals.  You might think that sounds like a stupid comment, but I firmly believe that these guys are just grown up bullies, and bullies like easy targets.  They often find employees who will "take it" so to speak, and focus a lot of negative energy at those individuals.  Although I have certainly had a share of being yelled at in meetings or blamed for things going wrong that were out of my control, I am not that victim.  My theory is that I fight back too much.  I'm hard to bully - especially now that I'm older - um, I mean wiser, and more confident.

My advice on this is simple, push back.  Maybe you walk softly at first, but don't let yourself become the 'fall guy'.  Don't let someone question your character or intelligence because something went wrong.  Now, I'm not saying don't take responsibility for your actions or for your department's performance.  What I am saying is don't let your boss go on a public rampage about you and all your faults.  Walk away.  Tell him you will speak to him in his office.  Be prepared to rebut accusations.  Don't just sit there and take it.

Let me end by saying this - If you prove yourself  to be a valuable employee - do your job well - you should never be afraid to stand up for the right thing.  That means not accepting that someone treats you or your direct reports badly.  Just don't do it - things will be ok.